So, the secret project is completed and has been submitted. And I've been thinking about what to start next, and realized I wanted to start working on a new novel. Two days ago I posted this on Livejournal, along with a short description of what it'd be about. Let me share with you the one comment I received - an anonymous shot that I deleted immediately after receiving it:
"Your ideas suck and your writing sucks. Also, you're fat."
So there you have it.
In a way, though, it's kind of a reminder that I can't really use Livejournal (or blogging of any kind) as a gauge for what's real or not with my writing, whether the reaction is largely negative or positive. The comment feature makes it far too easy for me to believe that the "I sold a story" posts are causing huge ripples in the world - when in all reality, not one fucking person outside of Livejournal knows I exist. Seriously. I do not exist as a writer. Stephen King exists. I do not. On the other hand, the anonymous trolls I'm attracting tend to know my weaknesses (my age and appearance), and their ability to combine it with writing - as if my being ugly and unfuckable are the specific reasons for my lack of six-figure book contracts - unsettles me greatly. Again, their comments aren't any more true than the positive ones, but the immediate nature of Livejournal makes it hard to find some kind of balance between the two.
And that's why I don't plan on making any more posts on Livejournal about what's going on with my writing, other than the occasional sale. And I think maybe I'll simply forgo those as well, and only post when something's finally in print or online. The less comments I get about my writing, the more I'll truly see how small and insignificant my so-called "career" is, which will perhaps spur me to concentrate more on improving my craft and less on how I can word posts to get as many "CONGRATS" comments as possible.
"Your ideas suck and your writing sucks. Also, you're fat."
So there you have it.
In a way, though, it's kind of a reminder that I can't really use Livejournal (or blogging of any kind) as a gauge for what's real or not with my writing, whether the reaction is largely negative or positive. The comment feature makes it far too easy for me to believe that the "I sold a story" posts are causing huge ripples in the world - when in all reality, not one fucking person outside of Livejournal knows I exist. Seriously. I do not exist as a writer. Stephen King exists. I do not. On the other hand, the anonymous trolls I'm attracting tend to know my weaknesses (my age and appearance), and their ability to combine it with writing - as if my being ugly and unfuckable are the specific reasons for my lack of six-figure book contracts - unsettles me greatly. Again, their comments aren't any more true than the positive ones, but the immediate nature of Livejournal makes it hard to find some kind of balance between the two.
And that's why I don't plan on making any more posts on Livejournal about what's going on with my writing, other than the occasional sale. And I think maybe I'll simply forgo those as well, and only post when something's finally in print or online. The less comments I get about my writing, the more I'll truly see how small and insignificant my so-called "career" is, which will perhaps spur me to concentrate more on improving my craft and less on how I can word posts to get as many "CONGRATS" comments as possible.
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